Adeline’s Birth Story

As I sit here nursing again at 1:52am, I realize I have not yet shared Adeline’s birth story in its entirety. Be it that the memories are still fresh and easy to recall, I am excited to share and thankful that I will have it to look back on in the future.

It was around 3am on January 25, when I woke up to feeling like I had wet the bed. My water had broke…

I tried to stay calm and woke up Shaun to let him know. It was go time.

Our birth plan was simple - to have Adeline at the apartment while Shaun’s parents watched the dogs and Evelyn. My mom was on call for anything birth related we might need and was in charge of grabbing meals for the midwives.

The only unexpected challenge? Shaun’s parents were still on their way home from New York visiting his grandparents.

When my water broke, we decided it would be best to let Evelyn sleep instead of jarring her awake. I called my mom and Shaun called his parents to let them know, and we decided it would be best to run the dogs over to their house around that time (4am) incase the midwives needed to come over early, even though Shaun’s parents weren’t back yet. Plan B was that once Evelyn was up, she would stay with my mom until Shaun’s family was home, and then my mom would take her to them.

While Shaun ran the dogs over to his parent’s and Evelyn continued to sleep, I took a long, warm shower, got dressed, and started stress-cleaning. Ha!

It’s like you know your life is going to change in this monumental way and you want everything to be “just right,” in order to make the transition a little easier. Cleaning feels, good, in a sense, because it feels like some aspect of your life is in control and tidy right before you know it’s all about to change. It’s a really interesting, and satisfying, process.

At this point I was having very very minor contractions, but nothing intense or increasing. I should have taken this as a sign, but as only my second birth, how was I to know?

Shaun made it back, hopped in the shower and got ready for the day. We cleaned like our lives depended on it and pulled out all of the birthing materials. Shaun had the homebirth pool and hoses available and ready.

And then we waited. We waited for Evelyn to wake up and we waited for contractions to increase. Though Evelyn eventually woke up, the contractions never increased.

It was so lovely to spend the morning with our sweet Evelyn, yet also incredibly bittersweet. We knew her life was going to be thrown for a loop and so was ours. We felt guilty for no longer being able to give her our full attention and didn’t want her to resent us for taking away her role as our only child. There were a lot of mixed emotions for us, though we were trying to be strong for her.

Shaun and I had prepped her for this day for quite some time. She had packed a fun book bag full of her most precious toys, along with some new and exiting ones for this special day. She was looking forward to spending some time with “B” (what she calls my mom) and then to see “Gumpy” and “K” (Shaun’s parents) shortly after.

We loaded Evelyn up with all of her things, and sent her on her way with my mom. As soon as she left the apartment, Shaun power walked to the window in our bedroom to watch her leave.

I stood beside him and watched tears fall down his eyes as my mom loaded her up, and backed out of the drive. When she drove away, we just held each other, equally sad for losing one baby, and excited at the thought of gaining another. Life can be so uncomfortable at times.

We waited, and waited, and waited for what seemed like forever. We just wanted the contractions to increase and for Adeline to make her appearance.

We had planned an appointment with the midwives at their office for early afternoon that day long before my water had broken and I began going in to labor. When my contractions weren’t increasing, they asked us to still come to the appointment so they could check on things.

When we arrived, they checked on Adeline’s position and asked me a variety of questions. Because my water had broken at 3am, we wanted to be sure that Adeline would be delivered by 3 the next morning.

The midwives needed to grab dinner, pick up a few things from their homes and then they would meet us at the apartment. I was instructed to take an herbal remedy around 5pm to try and help get contractions going, and they would arrive shortly after.

Shaun and I got back to the apartment and just tried to relax. But we were so bored. We were anxious and wanting Adeline to come! The fact that my contractions hadn’t intensified began worrying us. I really didn’t want to have to go to the hospital. I wanted to birth Adeline at home.

The time finally came for me to begin the herbal remedies. The only one I remember is Blue Cohosh. Whatever you do, don’t Google Blue Cohosh. Ha! Though many sites warned against it, I trust our midwives implicitly and knew that, if Alex were still alive, she would say to trust the power of plants. And so that I did.

All of the midwives arrived and by that time, it was getting dark outside. We were all cozy and warm in the apartment, 5 people (6 including sweet Adeline!) crammed in to 500 square feet.

As time went on and the herbal remedies did not provoke my contractions to increase, they pulled another trick out of their bag. An enema..

We trucked down to the bathroom, and performed the enema. Is that how you say it? Performed.. Ha! Regardless, I was so glad I had that behind me… no pun intended.

Although it reignited my contractions, they weren’t very intense and definitely didn’t increase in power. By this time, it was close to 8:30/9 and Shaun and I were beginning to worry. I was fearful something was wrong with Adeline and that’s why she wasn’t coming. I was fearful that I was going to have to go to the hospital. I don’t know that I could have handled that after all I had seen Alex deal with over the years. I was really scared, but trying to hold it together.

By 9 o’clock, the midwives softly smiled and suggested we move on to the next trick of the trade.

They made me a bowl of ice cream and mixed castor oil in it. Truly, it was the most creative way to get something so distasteful down, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to enjoy vanilla ice cream again.

Finally!! The castor oil woke up my contractions and the waves started rolling in. One after another, they grew more and more intense.

Initially, I was sitting on our couch, but as they intensified, I just wanted to be on the living room floor on my hands and knees. As the super painful ones hit, I lowered my head and arms on to the ground and just burrowed in. Nothing can relieve the pain; you just have to surrender and trust that your body knows what it’s doing, and so that’s what I did. All I kept hoping was that Adeline was coming so I didn’t have to go to the hospital. I was so ready for her to come.

I labored alone. Shaun and the midwives are always around me, but I’ve realized that while I’m birthing, I actually prefer to be left alone and untouched. The feel of anyone else’s presence is too much for me to bear when I’m trying to surrender to the will of my own body.

After a couple of hours, one of the midwives came close and rubbed my back. She is phenomenal and did this both times I birthed my girls. She lightly started at the small of my back and stroked all the way up to my neck. For both births, that caused me to throw up. I now know that is a significant sign of transitioning.

Everyone helped to clean up (they literally are incredible; I felt so embarrassed both times) and as soon as I brushed my teeth, they suggested I refuel with some electrolyte water, and they placed a towel on the nape of my neck. They were so loving and so supportive in the entire birthing process.

Because the birth was finally moving along so quickly, they didn’t have time to fill the birthing pool. Adeline was going to be a land baby.

In an effort to encourage Adeline down, the midwives had me lean against my bed and attempt to squat. I remember with both Evelyn’s birth and with Adeline’s, this position for me was extremely uncomfortable and downright unbearable. I needed help walking around the corner to lay on the mattress. My body was trembling as it was preparing for the final stages of birth.

As I neared delivery, the contractions were all or nothing. In between each wave, I lay down on our bed and just closed my eyes. I wanted nothing more than for Adeline to be born, but I was so exhausted that I relished the resting phases.

Finally, the intensity was too much to continue laying down. I propped myself back up on all fours and yelled, “I think I’m going to poop!” to which one of the midwives responded, “Or you could be having a baby,” as she calmly came back in to the room and began checking on me. Looking back on that moment, it gives me a good laugh every time.

I’ll never forget how calmly and quickly everyone came in to the bedroom. The three midwives and Shaun joyfully scurried around making preparations while I continued to have contractions. I could feel Adeline coming, yet also knew that Shaun had crawled up on to the bed next to me and was gently cheering me on. The midwives had all put their gloves on, gathered towels and a blanket weight scale, amidst other things.

And finally, the Ring of Fire.

If you haven’t heard of this before, it’s the sensation you feel when the largest part of the baby’s head is crowning and ready to come out. It hurts like hell and is the moment in time I most adamantly want to avoid.

But there is no avoiding it.

Once the next contraction came, I bore down in an effort to get her out quickly like I had done with Evelyn. It wasn’t enough and I got stuck in that position, right around the bridge of Adeline’s nose and over her ear.

At 1:26am the final contraction came and I pushed again, freeing her from my hold.

At 1:27am Shaun caught her, and I lightly fell on to our bed in complete relief. I heard her cry and knew she was okay.

All I wanted was to rest. I needed a minute to breathe.

I shuffled farther on to the bed and rolled on my back. It was time to birth the placenta. I pushed a few more times and it came out looking a little disheveled.

One midwife took her measurements, while another tended to me, and the third cleaned. They were so incredible. Shaun must have been holding her, but I honestly can’t remember. I was in another world. The amount of relief after birthing is something I can’t explain. It’s so surreal.

After I was propped up on to my pillow, they put Adeline in my arms, and everything felt right. We have two girls. Two incredibly beautiful and loving girls.

I passed her to Shaun and the midwives brought me an assortment of fruits and yogurt and granola and it was all so satiating and fulfilling. My body started shaking uncontrollably and all of a sudden I was freezing. They wrapped me in blankets and reminded me that I had been carrying around all this extra weight, and since I had lost it all once Adeline was born, my body temperature was adjusting. It all made perfect sense.

I can still feel how exhausted I was. I don’t remember how long the midwives stayed; it was a blur. But I do remember nestling down in to our bed, just Shaun, Adeline and I. And we deeply slept for a few hours. Our sweet family, right at home, as nature intended.